Past Time for "How Jalop Is Your Car?" to be Updated

"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction) 10/30/2013 at 15:10 • Filed to: HOWJALOPISYOURCAR, How Oppo is your car

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100

This article made me think: it’s way past time for the How Jalopnik Is your Car? article to get re-shared/updated/amended.

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/what-is-the-mo…

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2008: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

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2009 revision: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

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2010 guest writer variation: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

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And hey, JalopMeter guy, throttle bodies? Mine has eight . !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Feel free to post your scores below!

e30joe > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:18

1

Score: 195

151-200 points Fantasy Garage

Sweet!

Party-vi > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:18

1

Too much to read and comprehend in the 2009 version, so I'll go with the Jalopmeter.

The Willys is 240 and the E46 is 115.

Nibbles > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:22

1

My Saab 900 SPG gets 128 (manually added one column because both longitudinally mounted and slant). The Focus is -5 (wow. just wow) and the Dakota is 170. Still, the Dakota is the most Jalop truck.

HammerheadFistpunch > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:24

0

Hadn't done this with the cruiser yet. 106 points aint bad.

Vs 46 incredibly wrong points for a turbocharged AWD manual wagon (the old Forester xt)

Vs 0 even more wrong points for the wifes turbo diesel manual wagon.

EDIT: weird, I did it again and only got 86 points.

CKeffer > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:26

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My 2010 MINI Cooper S hardtop nets 135 points. I originally read the country of origin caveat wrong, but I would say that a car designed in Germany, powered by a French engine, and build in Britain, counts as mixed origin for sure.

505Turbeaux > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:29

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huh, well I used my DD 90 VW Fox wagon for a total of 95 points. Not bad, not bad at all

7:07 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:30

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1963 Lincoln Continental : 225

I miss that car...

edit: 235 if you count body-on-frame.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:30

0

The Tipo scored a nice 110, mostly for being made in Italy and kinda old, but I figure the slightly modded engine helped as well with the power ratings.

My parents' Blazer is probably going into the negatives, though.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:34

1

My Jetta got a perfect zero.....

My audi is respectable, somewhere around 130 or so. 5 cylinders should be worth more points though, besides the 2.5L corporate VW turd.

Kugelblitz > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:35

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WRX + age = 136 points.

JohnnyWasASchoolBoy > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:37

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I got 121 with my 2003 Tundra, but, would like clarification. It does have four doors. But the rear doors are suicide doors. I scored it as a two-door; not taking the penalty for a four-door but not claiming the extra points for suicide doors. We good?

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:37

3

1985 Mazda Cosmo Rotary Turbo Saloon..
186 :D

what's wrong with ashtrays?
My car comes with that. But i don't smoke and itNs always empty.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:38

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I feel like, since everything's got a turbo these days, NA engines are needing some more love in the revision...

Any other recommendations?

Dusty Ventures > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:40

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Why the Jalopmeter needs work

Rally Subaru: 76
Rally Yaris: 56
Rally tow rig: 175
Baja Ranger: 93
02 Town Car: 105

Wut?

Jayhawk Jake > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:40

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60...

And I cheated. The dash isn't ALL digital, but it's mostly digital. The tachometer is analog.

I think I deserve the bonus points for my dash though...

JohnnyWasASchoolBoy > Jayhawk Jake 10/30/2013 at 15:42

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What is it?

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:44

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The '69 simca got 240 points.. Don't think I want to know what my '97 civic will get :P

What bugs me though is that a NSU Ro80 only gets about 100 points..

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:45

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170 before cupholders (and I know I've got at least four).

HammerheadFistpunch > JohnnyWasASchoolBoy 10/30/2013 at 15:47

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Sonic

HammerheadFistpunch > Dusty Ventures 10/30/2013 at 15:49

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Seriously. Also why does the jetta get an immediate dump when the Jetta sportwagen is just a golf with extra wagon...

H4N5 GRU83R > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:49

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Ended up here. 90 points for my 91 Volvo 745 Turbo.

HammerheadFistpunch > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:50

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Agreed, A turbo aint what it used to be. Maybe specific power would be better, Cause even dumpy little 1.0 liter 3 pots are pretty special if they have 130 hp. you could do a specific output n/a and turbo if you want to get crazy.

Nonster > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:50

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My 85 MR2 only got a 121, but my 82 CJ-7 got 210! 31 years old, no doors, multiple bondo patches, and a straight six!

H4N5 GRU83R > H4N5 GRU83R 10/30/2013 at 15:50

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Edit: 95 including the ash tray. ;D

thebigbossyboss > JohnnyWasASchoolBoy 10/30/2013 at 15:51

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We good.

Forgetful > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:52

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The original meter is properly calibrated. My FR-S scored 86.

Dusty Ventures > HammerheadFistpunch 10/30/2013 at 15:54

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Because nonsense?

thebigbossyboss > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 10/30/2013 at 15:55

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This is hilarious given my Cavalier got a 15, and would get even more if I counted "it

's place of origin" to be "where it was manufactured". In 3 months I will score even higher, because then it will be 11 years old lol!

HammerheadFistpunch > Dusty Ventures 10/30/2013 at 15:55

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because nonsense.

Moxy > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 15:59

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Ok, so I think mine is the hand of fate:

I have a 2013 Scion FR-S and my score was 86?!

Spooooooky!

bkempert > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:00

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E30 got a 140

thebigbossyboss > HammerheadFistpunch 10/30/2013 at 16:01

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It hurts my eyes.

Jayhawk Jake > thebigbossyboss 10/30/2013 at 16:02

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Why? It's wonderful in daily use.

HammerheadFistpunch > Jayhawk Jake 10/30/2013 at 16:04

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I think I would like it a lot more if the digital portion was full height and the lights were part of the digital readout. feels like it was "designed" more than "engineered" if that makes sense.

Jayhawk Jake > HammerheadFistpunch 10/30/2013 at 16:07

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I get it. The proportions aren't as bad in person.

One thing that annoys the crap out of me is how little the lights are actually used. I mean, nearly every spot is used, but it's for warning lights you never see. In the tach you have P-Brake, Headlights, DRL, High Beams, Stabilitrak, and ESC lights. All those should in the holes around the digital display.

The worst offender though is the seatbelt light. The one shown in the picture is for the driver, the passenger light is on the center console. That's annoying and stupid.

Hoccy > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:08

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My Volvo 142 gets 170 points. Which is perfect if you ask me, but I think it needs some updating..

highmodulus > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:08

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Manual BRZ and a 3rd Gen 4runner with the 5 speed stick, 4WD transfer case and diff lock = not bad

quarterlifecrisis > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:15

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C6 = 101-150 points: Is that an E39 M5 in your pocket? Or do you have an erection?

That being said...I started to have impure thoughts about E39 M5s the other day...

HammerheadFistpunch > Jayhawk Jake 10/30/2013 at 16:17

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Just think how rad this would be though.

With more info on a bigger screen.

Jayhawk Jake > HammerheadFistpunch 10/30/2013 at 16:19

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Oh, I agree. But I can't complain much with the stock one.

Chairman Kaga > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:24

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2008 CRV EX = -156

1982 Alfa Romeo GTV6 = 173

Ian @ Jewel or Jalopy > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:26

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Seems like it's working to me.

255 points, woo hoo! 1974 Alfa Romeo Berlina. Unfortunately the flames didn't win me any points.

gometz > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:31

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2008 C63 - 86

1999 Explorer Sport (2 door) - (-2)

That seems about right actually...

Redid it:

2008 C63: 117 points

1999 Explorer Sport: 38

JohnnyWasASchoolBoy > HammerheadFistpunch 10/30/2013 at 16:32

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Cool. I've never been in one.

505Turbeaux > Chairman Kaga 10/30/2013 at 16:33

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I was going to run the GTV6 but knew someone else would get it. Thanks!

exizeo - still loving fourza > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:33

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Volvo 850.

170 points...wut. Also, 0 cupholders, because you pull them out of the center console cubby. Both of them broke. They were pieces of flimsy circular plastic with a base. It couldn't really hold anything well.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Chairman Kaga 10/30/2013 at 16:34

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I'm pretty sure you win the prize for greatest disparity between your two vehicles - ha!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Ian @ Jewel or Jalopy 10/30/2013 at 16:35

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I wish I had a trophy for you.

Kurisu95 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:36

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37-

Dodge Grand Caravan with wheelchair ramp.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > exizeo - still loving fourza 10/30/2013 at 16:37

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Question to ponder: is removing/disabling cupholders worth the extra Jalop points...?

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Kurisu95 10/30/2013 at 16:42

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I hereby move that that ramp should be worth some points.

exizeo - still loving fourza > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:44

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Considering how unergonomical they are, and that I've never used it, I don't count them as cupholders. I accidentally snapped one off completely, and the other one's bottom piece is broken. I don't drink while driving, and there's a nice cubby lower down by the door, where I put my water bottle (harder to reach = only drink when stopped).

I would remove them, but then I'd have a weird hole in my center storage. Worth it for weight savings of .5lb?

exizeo - still loving fourza > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:46

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If they're fully functional cupholders like your E90 M3's, no. If they're my cupholders, absolutely. No reason why Volvo even left them there.

Chairman Kaga > 505Turbeaux 10/30/2013 at 16:51

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It's the 3 ashtrays that really puts it over the top.

505Turbeaux > Chairman Kaga 10/30/2013 at 16:52

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too bad they dont have a subsection for number of center mounted gauges...

Chairman Kaga > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 16:52

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Should I mention that our third car is a 4-banger Camry with a slushbox?

Chairman Kaga > 505Turbeaux 10/30/2013 at 16:54

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Or transaxle. Inboard brakes. Interesting suspension (I'd call DeDion tubes interesting, anyway). Racing pedigree. Etc.

505Turbeaux > Chairman Kaga 10/30/2013 at 16:55

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cant wait for mine to show up Friday, the Milano just doesnt have the awesome factor

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Chairman Kaga 10/30/2013 at 16:57

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No.

The only saving grace of my '86 Camry (my first car) was that it had a man pedal...

Wait, one more - it only weighed 2300 lbs!

Chris > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:07

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71. For a Miata. Fuck this shit.

Chairman Kaga > 505Turbeaux 10/30/2013 at 17:13

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So you're joining this sick club, too? Are you getting yours from Heavy Metal Alfa in Maine? Did we discuss the car previously?

Team6.1 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:15

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I like the Jalopmeter. Solid scores carried by lots of horsepowers and lacks of doors!

GRawesome > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:15

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Dodge - 153
Ford - 175
Toyota - 206
Land Rover - 175 but I should get bonus points for it being RHD in the US.

I've also just noticed a trend in my car ownership thanks to this quiz, I like 2 door naturally aspirated cars and hate cup holders.

505Turbeaux > Chairman Kaga 10/30/2013 at 17:15

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nope, and nope. GG no longer works on the fleet round these parts, that is all I will say...

BUT I am a member of that sick club a few times over. Probably worse since I am going back

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > thebigbossyboss 10/30/2013 at 17:16

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every time I get a few points, I lose some in the next question. "Yeah I drive a manual!" then "Oh....it has two cupholders" "Yeah my car is German!" "Oh, it has the engine mounted sideways"

Bruno angrisano > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:17

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Ok, doing it with the three toys living in the garage:

1974 modded Alfa Romeo GTV: 210 freaking points!

1998 modded Chevrolet Tigra (designed in Germany, built in Spain, tweaked out in Brazil): 165 proud points!

2007 Citroen C4 2door VTR: 130 unbelievable points!

swinktron > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:23

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Yeeeeeah my 81 El Camino (original white/rust coloration) with 350 cubic inches of Pennsylvania iron and THM 400 tranny, 1 ash tray AND no cupholders gets a whopping 257 points! Suck my fumes bitches! (Seriously, I'm having trouble tuning my carb. The global mean temp rises about 1 degree C each time I crank it)

Bruno angrisano > Ian @ Jewel or Jalopy 10/30/2013 at 17:28

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Man, you managed to get a even higher score with an Alfa Romeo than mines´! My 1974 GTV2000 got 210 points!

Lemonhead > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:30

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My Altima? Big fat goose egg. I'm okay with that

My planned truck project? 160

I guess that means in real life I currently suck, but there is hope for me yet around the corner.

Swale > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:31

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Porsche 944 - 130 points!

Whoo! I am somewhere in the middle!

Jeremy Bloyd-Peshkin > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:38

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1987 BMW 535i: 195 points.

Wat?

Textured Soy Protein > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:39

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2013 BMW 135is DCT = 150 points

Bruno angrisano > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:41

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Ok, just tried it with an original Morgan Three Wheeler, to see where it could go on a REALLY different car: 420 POINTS!!!

Chairman Kaga > 505Turbeaux 10/30/2013 at 17:43

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Interesting. I've never had any direct dealing with him, but most of the AlfaBB guys love him, while the ones who don't do so with fervor. I know a guy here in Austin who felt he was pretty badly burned.

Your first GTV6?

NoahthePorscheGuy > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:43

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Fiesta ST got a 50. :(

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Textured Soy Protein 10/30/2013 at 17:48

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How many points did they give you for the "s"?

505Turbeaux > Chairman Kaga 10/30/2013 at 17:49

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2nd GTV6, and the burn was to a friend of mine, but c'est la vie.

I am only saying this because noone is ever going to read this far down, and I am not usually one to bitch and whine online, especially not for someone elses car, but my friend can find someone else to pay to not put a timing belt on an alfa V6 and say it is done. This one look like it has 50 miles on it to you?

Chairman Kaga > 505Turbeaux 10/30/2013 at 17:53

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Maybe it's one of those antique aged jobs? You know, like a brand new Fender Telecaster that looks like it's been on the road with the Allman Brothers since 1968? Very trendy...

505Turbeaux > Chairman Kaga 10/30/2013 at 17:55

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hahahahahaha yup, just like that. My friend said he was going to ask if he put a used belt on his car. It actually isnt in too bad of shape, but your custo wants a new belt, put a new damn belt on. If that thing snapped it would be another level

Textured Soy Protein > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 17:57

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Zero. Apparently nobody thought to add that to the jalop calculator.

Chairman Kaga > 505Turbeaux 10/30/2013 at 18:06

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So what are you getting?

Mine's been laid up for a few years. Started a restoration about 3 months before my wife got pregnant with our first, finally started finding time over the weekend to work on it again, then we got preggers again. I'm maybe 4 solid hours away from getting it inspected and registered though. The hood won't close anymore, and I should probably flush the radiator and bleed all of the hydraulics too. Otherwise, it was stripped, de-rusted, straightened, painted, and reassembled. Didn't pop the windshield (it was either cut a $400 gasket and risk breaking the glass anyway, or breaking the glass and saving the gasket - windshields are hen's teeth in the US) or lift the motor, but it was otherwise a thorough body job. Got a set of mesh head Recaros, refinished the dash, rebuilt the gauges, SEM'ed the hell out of the carpet and door cards, and attempted to replace as many seals and gaskets as possible. Mechanically it was already quite sound. I have a spare transaxle that I want to (eventually) rebuild with closer ratios and an LSD, and the entire back half of the car still needs new bushings. New shocks wouldn't hurt either.

This project will obviously be ongoing...

I'll get some new photos this weekend. Maybe I'll figure out how to wash it. Water restrictions in Austin mean NO washing. Hmm.

Übel > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 18:08

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'03 GTI 1.8t netted me 55 points. I want a recount.

BullManUGA > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 18:25

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2000 Audi A4 5-speed supercharged wagon: 103

2000 Chevy S-10: 88, suprisingly. There needs to be a car color point basis though, as it's grandma gold in color.

Someone Else's Projects > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 18:25

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1973 Saab 96: 180 points. I think I've peaked. I do wish they'd added bonuses for either two-stroke or V4 (proper V4) engines, but that's pretty pedantic.

I hoon, therefore I am > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 18:29

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This is phenomenal.

Brucie B (84 633csi manual): 150 (though I admit I did add two cup holders) - "101-150 points: Is that an E39 M5 in your pocket? Or do you have an erection?"

71 Nova (LS motor, 4L80e trans :/ ): 137

911e46z06 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 18:43

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I hate these things where you have to run all your cars. Takes me all damn day.

e46 M3: 130

C6 Z06: 142

'87 911: 148

e39s: 130 and 125

Tahoe: 115

Suburban: 75

K5 Blazer: 165

Exploder: 103

Bronco: 150

VW bus: 240

Silverado: 110

Jonee > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 18:52

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My Fuldamobil got a 345. Beat that, suckers!

But, my Renault LeCar scored a disappointing 145.

I feel like "French" should get a few more bonus points because the only country of origin more Jalop than France would be a former Communist nation, if you ask me.

Jonee > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 10/30/2013 at 18:57

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I was disappointed my Renault LeCar only got 145. I know a '69 Simca is cooler, but 95 Jalop points cooler? Hmmm.

And a Ro80 is about as Jalop as you can get for a car with 4 traditional wheels, I think.

parkingking > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 19:06

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After trying it with a few cars to confirm reliability:

Prius: 31; FR-S: 86; 280Z: 161; B5 A4 Wagon: 98. Sounds about right. (Focus ST with 30 points is a bit low - the meter needs to be recalibrated to better detect Hot Hatches)

And for fun, my old Yamaha motorcycle: 236.

It's a 2-cylinder, air-cooled, twin-carbed, 0-doored, mid-engined, Japanese-built, manual-shifted, 64-hp, 31-year-old, 0-cupholder-shod piece of awesome.

JalopMeter confirms: motorcycles cooler than cars.

Bandit > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 19:11

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My 2nd gen Trans Am: 180 points.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Jonee 10/30/2013 at 19:17

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The Simca got a whole lot of extra points for having a manual on the tree.. the LeCar is an awesome car.

As for the Ro80, it's about as reliable as meth addict, about as fast as a glacier, handles like a Reliant Robin on ice and drinks like an old sailor.. So yeah, pretty much the most Jalop car ever :)

Slant6 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 19:25

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2000 Saab 9-5 Wagon- 110 points

1965 Dodge Dart- 195 points

SteyrTMP > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 19:27

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Hmph. My Lotus 7 isn't in there. I get 10,000 points.

BTW, it's getting colder. I need to find a scarf-thing... whatever they use under helmets. Otherwise, I can deal with it. Yesterday morning was below freezing, but it wasn't that bad getting to work.

Cherry_man1 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 19:28

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1973 Gran Torino = 185

2008 Mustang V6 = 85

Jonee > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 10/30/2013 at 19:35

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Which Simca do you have?

I owned a wonderful original Prinz for a while and it was fairly traditional compared to the Ro80.

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 19:35

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2005 Mustang Gt = 112

1987 Mercury Cougar with hopped up 302 = 170. The dash is in fact factory, 100% digital, AND everything functions!

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Jonee 10/30/2013 at 19:48

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The Simca isn't really mine anymore, sold it to a friend a while back, but it is a 1501 DeLuxe (never figured out what was so luxurious about it, the only difference between mine and a standard one was that mine had an ashtray for the rear seat). The Prinz is a cool car, definetly on my list of cars I'd like to own one day.

Jonee > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 10/30/2013 at 20:03

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Smoking in the back seat sounds luxurious to me. Every Subaru 360 had a "Deluxe" emblem on the back I think to trick people.

NoahthePorscheGuy > 911e46z06 10/30/2013 at 20:15

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wow, it must really suck to have so many nice cars :P

NoahthePorscheGuy > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 10/30/2013 at 20:17

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Fiesta ST is 50 points,

Audi S4 Avant with the V8 is 60 points. (but sadly an auto)

Those seem like hella jalopnik cars to me.